Day 8: Intelligence, Failure and Courage

“The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.”

               I failed.

               Many times before, actually.

If you know me, and if you’re reading this blog, you probably do, you know that people describe me as smart. I’ll be the first to say there is no such thing. Intelligence is proven to exist, but I’m probably no smarter than you.  I failed in many things in life and probably will fail many things more.

I got good grade when I was in elementary school because, well, everyone had good grade and I don’t want to be that guy who did not. My parents would force me into a table every night with books weighing on my hands. That’s probably the utmost reason why I’m thanking them right now. I hated it, but it gave me a habit and a thinking pattern. Anyways, I always thought I’m cool, that I’m smart, that I’m a genius. Turn out I wasn’t a genius. I wasn’t even smart. For the middle school entrance test, I didn’t even get a 10 (out of 10) in math even though 30% of my classmate did. Literature was even worse. I got a paltry 8.25 and my total score added up to around 17.75. Yup, so the top schools were way out of reach for me. The above-average schools were hesitant about their passing grades and I were faced with a possibility to enter a not-so-great middle school. You think it’s probably not a big deal. But friends of mine, whom I saw myself superior, got into those top schools. I were there, shocked and speechless.

I eventually ended up in a decent school, thanks to my dad’s position as a professor. It was just a painful, yet humbling experience. I failed many others things from there, from my art project to a math test (hey, that test was hard)

I bet you failed before. Things didn’t go your way. You got checked on your ego. The result in something you strive for didn’t satisfy you. The list goes on and on. Maybe it’s your Bio test. Maybe it’s your Math test. Maybe you got cut from your team. And for us seniors, maybe you got rejected from a college. You have failed and you will fail. But the question remains: Will you stand up and do it again? Will you be courageous enough to step out of your failure and start a new adventure? Will you regain your confidence and beliefs, or would you let others external factors deter you from doing what you want, what you should, and what you must?

There were things that left me vulnerable. There were things that left me afraid and shaking for my life, my future and my identity. I’m coping with them. But one day, I will have courage to look back at them and take the next step.

Because I will ace the test of life, just like I have aced so many tests before.

I’m not afraid.

Are you?

                                                                                                         Yours,