Day 37: Capture Happiness

"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open"

Can I say something weird?

*drum rolls*

I’m happy!

I don’t know how to explain this.

I still have my extreme mood swings, you know all about that. But I see myself smiling and enjoying life more than I have ever done so.

Happiness to me isn’t equivalent to happiness to you. I guess each of us have a different sense of what being happy look like. In fact, let’s go through what makes me happy.

Happiness is being able to wake up at whatever hour you want. The feeling of lying in bed staring at the ceiling with thousands of thoughts running through your mind is both exhausting and relaxing. You’re just there, your eyes open, your body paralyzed, your eyes fixed and you let your mind chases whatever thoughts you want. No stress. No rush. No pressure.

Happiness is having someone ask you to go somewhere with them. Sometimes it can just be a friend, your suitemates, your chemistry lab partners. Sometimes it can just be dinner, lunch, or a sport game. The thoughts of them thinking about you, even just for a second, lighten your day a little bit.

Happiness is running for miles in the morning and at night. Feeling the wind slap your face and the air breezing in your nose is amazing. Your heart starts pumping. Your lung starts burning. Your legs start aching. Adrenaline running through your every limb, your every inch of skin on your body. All the worries in your mind disappear, instead just a voice in your head keeps saying “Push it!”

Happiness is having someone asking about how your day goes, how they need to spend quality time with you, how they trust you to help them, how they see you as their friends. Being trusted is more important than almost everything else on Earth. I like the feeling of connecting to someone like that.

Happiness is loving and being loved. As long as that’s the reason, every single things you do can make you happy. Reading a book? Watching a movie? Listening to music? Going shopping? Lying in bed? Talking? Getting drunk? Eating pizza? Yeah, all of that. They can all make me happy.

I don’t need a lot to be happy. A conversation on the phone with my best friends would suffice my definition of happiness. In fact, once you have crappy things happening in your life, once you can’t count the amount of depressed nights you have, you learn to value every little piece of happiness you can find. You want to capture it, hold it dear to you and never let it go.

But you can’t.

You can’t capture happiness. You wish you can save that moments forever so that you can always feel happy. But the more you hold on, the harder you will crash once that moment leaves you. I guess we all just should enjoy and appreciate every little moment that make us smile, and let go when it is time to do so. We must hope and pray that it is not the last piece of happiness that will come our way. We must hope and pray that we can endure life as it is before the next joy find its path to our heart. It won’t be easy. But once in a while, it will all be worth it.

Don’t try to capture a piece and miss the other pieces.

Happiness will always come.

                                                                                                                                       Best,

                                                                                                                                       Denny