Day 44

So, I have a question

How the hell can one be annoying if he doesn’t talk?

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It’s like telling a blind person that he has been stalking you. It’s like telling a disabled that he runs around too much. It’s like telling someone who just lost his loved ones that he acts too bubbly. They all don’t make sense. Not a bit.

Yet here I am.

So what gives?

What causes what?

Is it that my nature is inherently not talking, and that silence drives people crazy? Or is it that I am annoying, but after a while I just shut my mouth?

I don’t talk much. If you were to make a normal distribution of words people talk in a day, I’m probably in the five percentile… on a lucky day. And on that very lucky day that I decide to talk, apparently I’m annoying, or so I’ve been told.

I hate that word. It’s like saying “Your existence bothers me!”, or “Why are you here?”, or “Just shut up! No one cares!” And the sad thing is, I’d rather hear those sentences than “You’re so annoying!”

Once upon a time, I was very vibrant and bubbly and talkative. FUNNY HAHAHA… I know, but it’s true! I was! Then I started being annoying, and people started poking holes in my laughs, my voice, and my presence. Then I started trying to not be annoying.

I started to not be anything at all. I started to be silent.

Before all of you are friends with me, I’ve told you that you’re gonna be annoyed, that you’re gonna be bothered. I don’t know how, it just happens. But you all want to be friends anyways, to try to get pass that silent wall I put up. Now you all regret it. I should know, because I do too.

I guess you do still help with building the wall.

I’m sorry.

                                                                                                                                       Denny,