Day 56: So what am I doing?

Hey Nova,

It’s Denny.

At this moment, some of you will go “Oh my God, it’s Denny!”, some of you will have no idea who the hell I am and why you are reading this. So for some context, I graduated Villanova more than a year ago, so I’m two classes above the senior this year. I personally think that I was not popular or anything, or in fact, people remember me for the wrong reason. If the rumors were true however, a lot of people know me and talk about what I’ve left behind at Nova, and that’s what made me very happy and proud of myself. For people who don’t know who I am, there are rumors that I’m super smart or worse, I’m a genius. No, I’m actually neither. Don’t believe them, they’re lying. I’m 95% sure that I am no smarter than whoever is reading this.

I’m supposed to write something to promote the “legacy” that Robert and I left behind in the form of math club. I tried to do that, but I realized I can’t really possibly force anyone to join that, or to at least take an interest in math and logic. Everyone is different, and it’s definitely okay if you think math is lame. I might hate you but it’s still okay. Since I can’t really promote it any better than Swan has (she’s doing a great job by the way!), I will tell you something else though, to make it up. I’m going to tell you what I’m doing, what I’m about to do, why I’m doing what I’m doing and how I fell in love with what I’m doing.

So, what am I doing?

Let me turn back to first day of college where you have to play ice breaker; you know, the “tell me your name, major and one interesting thing about yourself” game. You’ll hate that game like I do now. I would just leave if anyone starts asking me to do that. But for better or worse, your major is what you’re doing. So here I go;

“I’m Denny and I’m a chemical engineer, with minors in statistical mathematics and psychology.”

Stop.

Let me guess your reaction.

“Oh wow!”

“Damn”

“Really?”

For your information, Robert’s major is just as long, so I’m not the only one. It seems intimidating, though, isn’t it? Chemical engineering? Two minors? Math? What? Trust me though, I have no clue if I’m going to make it, but that’s what I’m doing. That’s what I choose to do. It sounds intimidating, but you have to have the courage to start and do it. I don’t want to be scared. I don’t want to look at science and math and think of them as a burden. I don’t want to be afraid of those ketones group reacting with aldehydes. I get it, science can be intimidating, but you don’t have to let it intimidate you. Sometimes, you just start doing it and it just gets done. The challenge is all in your mind. Give it a chance. Treat it like a game at the carnival. Treat it like approaching someone at a dance. It seems frightening, but once you start, sometimes the reward is just worth it.

Speaking of reward, let me answer the second question: What am I about to do? Ew, Denny, you’re talking about the future now? I can hear you cry out. Yeah, you don’t know what college you’ll go to. You don’t know what you’re gonna become. You don’t even know what for lunch tomorrow. So how do I know?

I don’t.

What I am about to do means what I want to do and working toward to doing them. I’m currently applying to be in a lab that will be working on Advanced Cold Compression Therapy, and three weeks ago I knew as much about this subject as you would. It’s very cool actually. They used cryo gel that has extremely low temperature to effectively disinfect and heal wounds as well as any open injuries. I don’t really know the exact science about it, but can you just imagine how much this will help athletes and veterans? I’m applying for an internship at Amgen soon and I hope one day to become a neurochemical engineer. What the hell is that? To be honest, I don’t know exactly, but it’s when you modify drugs and brain cells and aid the mind.

I want to repair the brain. I want to perfect it. I want to make it so that no one has to live with the stigma of having a “damaged” brain. I want to cure depression. I want to cure schizophrenia. I want to cure PTSD, ADHD, split personality, occipital blindness, Azheimers, Parkinson, and any other mental illnesses. I don’t want people to have to carry pills forever. I don’t want them to feel isolated and have low self esteem just because their brain is genetically not the same with others. I want to do that. The reason why itself is very personal, but whatever reason it is, whatever ideas and beliefs you hold with you, fight for it, even though sometimes it won’t succeed. I won’t probably cure anything, but if there’s a small chance I do, then I will continue. You should too. Find your cause, find your motivation, find your purpose and go. Just maybe, maybe, you will do it with the tools that science has given you.

I didn’t write this to promote science and math and discourage any other subjects and fields. No, actually, I’m not promoting math and science. I’m promoting what you want to do, Wildcats. I want you to know that knowledge is never a waste, never an investment without return. I want you to know what you fell in love with and continue doing that relentlessly. I fell in love with math and logic when I was seven, when I can use math to make sense of the world. I fell in love with chemistry when I was twelve, when I see nickel hydroxide changes color when it was replaced with ethylenediamine. I’m lucky, you know, for knowing what I love. Sometimes, it’s still a grind, doing what I do. But more often than not, I stop and think about one day, one day, I will see what I can do.

I want to see what you guys can do as well, in the fields that you love. But, if you still don’t know what you love yet, maybe, just maybe, give the intimidating STEM field a try. After all, we do need more scientists.

                                                                                                            Best,

                                                                                                            Denny

P.S: I can only be who I am today with the help of all the great people who guided me throughout the year, and to give me the love of science that I will forever hold. Thanks to all!